Topic 014: It's the thoughtlessness that counts

[Reiji]

I remember getting some pretty thoughtless gifts in the past, among them a vomit-pink shirt that was bought on sale and probably was in the bargain bin in Macy's, a camping cot (wtf?), a beer stein (I hate beer), and Tommy Hilfiger clothes (I'm not "AzN").

Frankly, I'd rather get no gift than to get a gift that shows absolutely no thought put into choosing it.

That being said:

Is it really the thought that counts? Does giving something just for the sake of doing so count as being thoughtful?

[TheStrife]

I'll take your beer stein~

[Reiji]

It might seem spoiled to spurn something somebody paid money for, but IMO you can't buy love, and sometimes simple gifts can really show a lot of caring.

One of the best gifts I ever got was a homemade dessert prepared by a close friend who isn't very wealthy, but has a talent for cooking and uses it to create unique dishes tailored to the individual tastes of his close friends.

[Garbo]

I think it is pretty thoughtless. The best thing about Christmas when it comes to presents, is that you hope to be surprised with something that you actually want.

Yes, it is a pain in the ass to try and figure out what the other person wants, and none of my family members to this date have ever bothered actually shopping for a gift for me, so it's come to the point that even if I have something that I want, and it's approaching Christmas time, I'll buy it myself anyway becuase I know I won't get it, even if it is something relatively cheap, like LOTR EE boxset.

When I buy presents, I tend to put some thought into it, but not to the point where I know exactly what they want. As in I don't call up their friends and ask them what they've talked about, but I'll think about the stuff they're into, and I'll get something along the lines of that, and I would sometimes spend a fair amount of time and money getting them.

Personally, I think if I'm going to go out with no thoughts, and just buy whatever, I'd rather not get anything. Not only does that waste money, but you can usually tell when they're not happy with a present (which defeats the purpose of buying a present - for me, anyway), and so I just feel bad.

I'd feel better if I didn't get them anything at all.

I rarely "make" gifts because I'm generally not very creative, although there are sometimes when I think up gifts that require some work, but I can't be bothered to follow through with it

Like this year, I didn't have the cash or any idea of what to get my parents, so I thought, maybe I could clean the house really well, and my room, and be like hey, Merry Christmas. But then I decided, nope too much trouble, massive house, etc.

I also know that I'm not getting any presents this year from any family members, because they've straight out told me when I've hinted about chipping in for presents for other family members

[Arashi]

Well sometimes you HAVE to give things to people, like at office parties. You know, boring presents like a massager, pencil holder, PAPER WEIGHTS. (I still remember the Seinfield episode where Jerry was making fun of that. )

I think it really depends on the person though. I know some people just won't care if I spent 15 hours drawing a portrait of them because they won't see the significance of it, other than I spent a lot of time on it. I don't blame though, I mean just because I spent a lot of thought into it or have the ability to draw well doesn't mean everyone would like it as a present. The last thing I want to do is FORCE them to like it.

[Kakeru]

heh.. My family makes me write a list of things I want. That's how it's been since I was young. Naturally I don't get everything on my list, but at least my family gets an idea of what I want.

[Joei]

I always give gifts that people actually like / will find useful. I tend to not buy expensive gifts - i get them stuff they want or is funny. My gifts tend to be amusing.

[TheStrife]

Well sometimes you HAVE to give things to people, like at office parties. You know, boring presents like a massager, pencil holder, PAPER WEIGHTS. (I still remember the Seinfield episode where Jerry was making fun of that. )

I think it really depends on the person though. I know some people just won't care if I spent 15 hours drawing a portrait of them because they won't see the significance of it, other than I spent a lot of time on it. I don't blame though, I mean just because I spent a lot of thought into it or have the ability to draw well doesn't mean everyone would like it as a present. The last thing I want to do is FORCE them to like it.

Yeah, we had a "Secret Santa" thing at work this year. It sucked. Alot.

[Shuzo Ru]

Over the years, christmas has become less and less of a holiday I actually look forward to, minus the fact that it gives me time off of work. This is due to the fact that there is so much going on in my life that I have no time to buy gifts, and have to rush out to the overcrowded malls to get them, with the chance that the people won't like what I get.

It used to be I spent a whole lot of time paying attention to what people wanted, made a list, and for the most part both the thought and the gift were in sync with each other. Now, I just hope to not spurn anyone by forgetting their present. What makes this hard is when you receive a gift from a person and remember you forgot to buy theirs. Your left running out to the nearest mall and buying the closest thing to a gift you can get your hands on.

The point of all this backstory and rambling is the fact that Christmas has lost its luster, with people caring more for what they get than what the holiday is really about - giving. I don't know about you all, but I feel a lot better when I give something that the person really wanted, then when I get something of the same nature.

When it comes to me, this is what I tell most people when they ask me what I want - if I wanted it, I'd have bought it myself.

[Brody]

The thought definitely counts. When thought and consideration are put into a gift, it is so much more than a gift. I often hear that my gifts are strange and random, but always from anyone BUT the recipient. My gifts are always taylored to the person's interests, needs, etc.

My wishlist on the other hand is very detailed, just to spite the karma of those who say "i dont care, just get me whatever"

BTW I absolutely love a good, appreciative reaction from a well thought out gift.

[Selma]

I always give gifts that people actually like / will find useful. I tend to not buy expensive gifts - i get them stuff they want or is funny. My gifts tend to be amusing.

CONGRATULATIONS AND JUBILATIONS!!!