Topic 009: Live for today, or plan for tomorrow?

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Topic 009: Live for today, or plan for tomorrow?

Post by Reiji »

Now that many of us SGer are past the under 18 demographic, we're about to join the work force or already working jobs.

For those of us who are still single, there's the matter of settling down (if at all).

Zach Braff, a bestselling author, calls this adjustment the "quarterlife crisis".

So how are you balancing your social, career, and love life? Which do you think has the greatest priority at your age?
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Post by WaWard »

My greatest priority right now is graduating. There's really nothing else in my mind right now (aside from health). Of course, I have a girlfriend, and she's at the exact same point in life as I am, so she's just as focused/unmotivated in her studies as I am.

When I will be done, I will take some time off. I am applying for jobs/masters/scholarships, and keeping my windows opened. I'm studying in Computer Engineering, and I really don't want to end up working at Tim Hortons or Radio Shack in a year (I wouldn't mind it for a couple of months in the middle-term though). So basically, I'll try to split my university years and my working years with a couple of months of brain-non-usage. I've also paid in full a European vacation, that I have been postponing for years.

Job is important. It's actually a huge source of stress right now, especially considering the field I'm in. I don't like shitty jobs that make no use of my skills, and I know that's probably what I'll end up with, turning my whole college degree into uselessness. *cue bowels exploding*
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Post by j0hn Ayanami »

Right now graduating is the most important aspect of my life. That and getting back to Vancouver. I fucked around and I paid the price, so now I'm trying to get back to the place I was at before.

Nothing else really matters to me so much; in my field of study and interest I basically can work for as long as I want in the place I want and determine how much money I make by the effort I put into it. I'm talking about TESL in Japan, and by effort I mean taking as many 1on1 conversations as I can to increase my cash flow.
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Post by Arashi »

well I'm going to be a sophomore in college, so right now for me...education is most important, esp since I'm already a semester+ behind. I'm not that sociable in the first place so not having a heavy social life right now doesn't really bother me.

As for love, I don't understand why some girls are so desperate to find a boyfriend these days. They freak out about it so much, like there's a time limit for it.
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Post by WaWard »

I've never found love when I was actively looking for it, personally speaking. It just stumbled up when I least expected it.

[spoiler]that is to say, I only found love once. the rest was actively looking dating crappolaness:nub2[/spoiler]
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Re: Topic 009: Live for today, or plan for tomorrow?

Post by Lord Golbez »

Um.....ask me when I have ANY of those. ;(
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Re: Topic 009: Live for today, or plan for tomorrow?

Post by Lord Golbez »

Lord Golbez wrote:Um.....ask me when I have ANY of those. ;(
I suppose you could say school is my career, in which case, calling it my greatest priority would be deceptive. :p
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Re: Topic 009: Live for today, or plan for tomorrow?

Post by Lord Golbez »

Fcuk...I forgot you can't edit and I quoted. Oh NO!I lose all my rebuttals!
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Post by WaWard »

lol

OOOOOOOOOPS :choco
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Re: Topic 009: Live for today, or plan for tomorrow?

Post by Garbo »

Man, Zach Braff is like a superhuman. He produces, he's funny, he's an actor, he's a director, and he writes books. What more could one do?

My priority is to graduate, but my habits mean that I'm more concerned about feeling comfortable and are the main reason why I'm spiraling in a hole.

I'd like to get a copy of that book.
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Re: Topic 009: Live for today, or plan for tomorrow?

Post by Killey »

I'm in my final year of college (technological school) and my main priority is to graduate with honors while maintaining a balance of focusing on my studies and having fun. Graduating is very important but I don't want to undergo so much stress that it overwhelms me.
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Post by Kage »

I have choosen a career over everything. Money came hard to me when I was young. My love life is always on hold. God bless my wife. My kids on the other is the only people on this world that can make me put my career on hold. :E
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Post by Grey Fox »

Interesting topic. My social life is probably of higest priority at the moment. My job is temporary so I can't say it's too much of a priority. I've just gotten out of a three year long relationship so as far as my love life is concerned, I'm just enjoying being single and meeting new girls.

My priorities will all shift around when I get back to Vancouver. One of two things will happen I think. 1.) I may get a job as a recruiter for the company I am working for in Japan at their Vancouver office. This would be full time and pay very nicely. It could easilly turn into a permanant job and I would get to go back and forth between Japan and Vancouver for business. I could also afford a to get a nice apartment downtown. 2.) I don't get that job, or any other GOOD job and I risk everything and go to school while living with my mother and commuting everyday for an hour each way and hope I end up in a better position than I'm in now.
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Re: Topic 009: Live for today, or plan for tomorrow?

Post by Brody »

I am also staring my last days of an undergrad in the face. I have postponed it long enough, however and in return have experienced times that I would never trade. Last semester consisted of 14 hour days choking down 18 hours of Graphic Design classes, so this last semester Im taking my last easy peasy classes (I saved a few cake courses for last :ruroken) and working a mindless job fulltime to put some money in my pocket for a change.

Ward, you are right on the money about not finding a girl when you're looking for one, you just gotta wait it out. I personally just got out of a relationship so Im also enjoying the much needed break from everything.

Overall my main current priority is family. I make it a point to get to my parents/grandparents once a week. Either to help out or just hang out, I have alot of catching up to do with them.
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Re: Topic 009: Live for today, or plan for tomorrow?

Post by Mitsurugi CP »

I suppose my career is most important to me now, seeing as how I have chosen to pursue neither a social life nor a love life. In the line of work I want to pursue, my job wouldn't allow me to have either a social or a love life. My hope is that I can get into med school at U of L and specialize in emergency surgery and do a trauma fellowship, that way, I have a little bit of background in just about every area of medicine. With this, I would ideally like to join "Doctors Without Borders".

I choose not to engage in social life or romantic life of my own accord; I don't believe that I will have the time to fully pursue and realize either, and that isn't fair to the other people I might bring into my life, so I've chosen to focus on my future career and my duty to God. With that, I think I can be happy, and I can make other people happier as well.
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Post by Magnus »

Graduating is my main focus, much as it is for the others who've posted here. I'm in my second year of an undergrad program. Where I go after that is slightly up in the air.

The words 'settling down' make me feel nauseated when applied to people around my age group (turning 20 in a month) or even anywhere around five years older. Some of my peers have been in a relationship for years, one's close to getting married, and that all seems so very, very far away for me. I'm a romance noob, utterly. I've hardly even gotten out there in that department to even think about 'settling down'. What can I say...late bloomer....so very, very late. :E
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Re: Topic 009: Live for today, or plan for tomorrow?

Post by Son-kun »

Right now I feel that I have no social life. All my friends have gone off to college. I see them every now and then, but it's a huge pain in the ass to even hang out with the few people still here. It's pretty hard/impossible to make friends at my college without living there. I've never been active in school activities but I might join some clubs or something out of my EXTREME boredom or in an attempt to rebuild a social life for myself.

Work and class are just annoying. Luckily I don't have to worry about money because I sure as hell don't make any. My school schedule makes it impossible to get many hours which is just as good as it is bad. I'm getting sick of living at home and am seriously considering moving on campus next semester. I feel like I'm missing out on something by commuting like this.
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Re: Topic 009: Live for today, or plan for tomorrow?

Post by j0hn Ayanami »

Son-kun wrote:Right now I feel that I have no social life. All my friends have gone off to college. I see them every now and then, but it's a huge pain in the ass to even hang out with the few people still here. It's pretty hard/impossible to make friends at my college without living there. I've never been active in school activities but I might join some clubs or something out of my EXTREME boredom or in an attempt to rebuild a social life for myself.
John's #1 Tip for meeting people at college/University -> Get to class early, like 10 minutes, and talk to people about the class. Best way to meet people, ever. Not only does being in the class give you an "in", it works well for discussion classes because you can just talk to each other and get all your ideas, then get good grades on discussion in class for participation.

Barring that, sit next to a girl. How do you think I met Vibing_V? I just sat next to her and she was naturally attracted by my overwhelming male sexiness, she HAD to talk to me. :love
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Post by Calbrena »

I liek John's tips. First one works, and second one, well, I wish I had been to a university with real guys.... But they were all ugly, boring or gay :(

Anyway, my first priority is to plan for a better tomorrow while enjoying today as much as possible. For that, I decided to study part-time, while working abroad. At the moment it works really well, it's really rewarding on a personnal level and my new housemates are great, + my job pays well (way too well for what I've got to do, I'm actually a bit ashamed of it... :heh). I still have time for a social life and to study, so that's perfect for me. For tomorrow, I don't know, that's what I'm wondering. I could just graduate and then look for a job, or study a bit longer. At the moment I'm just comparing the different options, because I'll be graduating next september. I'm really tempted by one of these part-time study/part-time work thing again, but I've already 'lost' time like that so I don't know. So I'm just trying to figure out what I'd like to do for a living, and then find out what's the best way to get the right job....

Anyway, at the moment my social life and career are more important than my love life. I've just walked out of an almost 4 years relationship (3rd year is really a difficult year... =/), so at the moment I'm really not interested in that. As for social life, unfortunately it revolves mostly around work, but I've met great people thanks to this job. And for my career, well, working abroad is always a :check on your CV, so I'm really glad I chose to do that (especially for the free tea and biscuits during breaks of course).

Oh, and :check to what Ward said about meeting someone when you least expect it.

And :l@Kneepad (adding an edit button to this forum would be good though, because it's really frustrating when you leave a spelling mistake and can't edit it... =/)
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Post by nomaru »

nowadays you can't really live for today without considering whats happening tomorrow. unless ofcourse you can afford to live such a lifestyle.

school makes things better. the more you know, the more you learn, the more you'll be ready for whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. it's either what you have in your head that's gonna get you to your destination, or who you know.

right now, kids i go to school with come from money or know LOTS of people. this girl i know wasnt even really interesting in doing tv/broadcast/film type stuff--but her dad used to be a big wheel at a major tv station and got her a gig working on some films with friends of his. with that experience, she got into to doing some producing. and now she's on her way to making a name for herself.

i do tons of stuff--almost in the zach braff state of mind. i draw, i've done some animating, i do a little show on the free cable station here, i've won some awards for some documentaries i've done around town as well as art related stuff--that might sound like ALOT--but when you don't really know anyone that can hook you up or take a chance on you, you're screwed if your spirit to succeed is weak.

my spirit to succeed is bipolar. some days i feel like i can own the world, other days, some of the jobs friends of mine have gotten makes me feel like a chump.

this one girl sucks at drawing, sucks at life, sucks at design. she scored a great job doing adverts for a company here because of someone she knew.

i guess maybe i hang out in the wrong circles.
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Re: Topic 009: Live for today, or plan for tomorrow?

Post by Undine »

Right now, I really don't know what my priorities are.

I graduated last year. I jobsearched, networked and clawed my way onto the bottom rung of the corporate ladder. 7 days ago, I chose between two job offers, both for permanent jobs. Yesterday, I signed an apartment lease, starting nov. 1st.

In other words, I reached the three goals I had for myself for most of my life, two of which in the same week.

This sounds like a fucking blog post.... D:
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Post by Magnus »

Hory shit, congrats Undine. :beer

j0hn's tip works wonders. Just lazing around in the few minutes before a class starts is a fantastic way to sort of network and get some kind of connection with the people you're about to spend the next hour (or 2, or 3) with. It's actually really helping out right now, as my 2nd year means I've had to see a lot of acquaintances and friends from previous years' classes go because classes are becoming increasingly specialized.
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Post by j0hn Ayanami »

I'm going to waste a reply on congratulating Undine. That's just awesome! :check :beer

The problem with my tip, and my specialization (East Asian Studies) is that most of the kids taking my course aren't there to really "major" in it. They just take it as an elective, or because they already know all of the history and want an easy grade. I had guys in my Ancient Chinese Literature class that had already read in chinese all of the epic books we were reading :( So it's rather hard to "network" but it's pretty good to make friends, and eventually I see people at clubs and stuff.
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Post by Kage »

Undine, welcome to the real world. I am happy for you. Congrats again Lisa. ( Note - I miss you in WF )

One of the fastest way to get ahead in life is communication skills. Being in college gives you a early break in this. Like John say, going in early and staying around late will be very fruitful for your sex and social skills. :E
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Post by Calbrena »

Congrats Undies! :D

Personnally I really don't know if one day I'll get a permanent job, the things I'm studying for at the moment don't really offer that =/ So I could just carry on studying a bit longer, but now I've got different options and it kinda sucks, because I've got no idea what I could do permanently without getting bored and hating my job after a few years... :(

Nomaru, yeah for a lot of things it just depends of other people, no matter how good you are, so it's really frustrating... But keep trying, one day hopefully you'll get what you really deserve :)
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Re: Topic 009: Live for today, or plan for tomorrow?

Post by Impaler »

Top priority is to graduate. :check

I've been juggling between work and studies for a long time now just to pay off my fees and stuff. It's tough to tie both loose ends of the string at the same time. Practically :frust

After staying in the varsity for so long, and seeing new faces everyday, I feel like I'm getting old. Not as in physically, but deep down inside I'm very tired. I want to finish this ASAP.

Then I want some time off on a lovely island, with the sun, sand, sky, sea and she. :)

2 more semesters. 6 months. To me it seems like a lifetime... :cry

For the future. I'll cross the bridge when I reach it.
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Re: Topic 009: Live for today, or plan for tomorrow?

Post by zsquared »

Just finished high school this past year. Right now I'm just taking a year off and am currently in the process of finding a job for about a year, at which point I will apply to go to post secondary in the fields of digital video/animation.

so right now I'm pretty much at a point where I'm not doing anything yet. Relaxing and taking a well deserved break.
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Post by isildur »

I've always been so wrapped up in the whole "living for today" bullshit that I've abandoned basically all notions of plans. The fact that I'm in college is the only thing I'm doing with my life that can be beneficial for me in the long run, but even the thought of what I'm going to do afterwards is uncomfortable. I have no fucking clue, and as such I'm making no further strides to make the future comfortable. That's the way I've always been: I take the path I think I should, and basically coast through with little thought to where I'm going, while I try my damnedest to have fun in the meantime. It's made my life enjoyable thus far, and as yet I have no regrets, but I'm not too sure how well it will work out in the long run. I see a rude awakening in my future.
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Post by Vibing_V »

:l John! You silly boy! I saw you from afar, found out where you lived, and fucking STALKED you. :evil

*ahem* Anyway...
After meandering through various arts courses for two years and living in a different country for 8 months, I finally decided on a major (double major in sociology + japanese). Now that I know what I want to study, and how long it will take >_<, I just want to get it done! After that I may likely go back to Japan to teach English again for maybe 2-3 years. Aside from that, I have no idea what kind of job I'd want after graduating.

School is my *main goal*, I suppose, but I place friends above school. That's not to say I neglect my studies or let my social life compromise it (what social life? ~_~), but if it were a choice between comforting a sad friend and doing my worksheet, I'd do the former.

After coming back from Japan last december I had nothing to do and thus became a hermit. As a result of this it took me an abnormally long time to readjust to life here, and I'm still not fully in the swing of being social, though I'm getting there. I'm naturally shy, so I really want to work on socializing more, and learn how to "network". In addition I plan on actually going out and having FUN for fucking once in my life, like 20 yr olds are supposed to. This is the first time being at university that I'm NOT working on weekends as well, which means I actually have time to breathe. I'm more broke than a hobo, but I'm happy.

I always have crushes on ppl and enjoy being silly and giddy over such things! :upsd but those are all on the backburner, and although they change often, are also a constant.

Marriage, bah! That's like 10 yrs off or something. :p
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Post by Vibing_V »

wtf at no edit button?!?! >_<

anyhoo, I guess what I'm saying is that in some ways I'm living for the future (ie my degree - although I'm studying these things because I ENJOY THEM not because they're going to make me rich or give me a secure job), but more and more I'm trying learn how live to enjoy the present! :D
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Post by Doom »

Okay, y'all can edit now (who decided on that one?)

Anyway, let's see...

Social 10%
Career/Studies 0%
Love life 90%

But of course, right?!

Okay it's probably more like

Social 5%
Career/Studies 75%
Love life ...

I suppose the other 20% can go towards "entertainment" of some sort, by which I mean... well for those of you who know me, it should be fairly obvious.

Anyway, I'm in my junior year, and trying to maintain my GPA while taking what will probably end up being my hardest semester is overwhelmingly time-consuming (let's not even talk about how I'm going to manage my time when MCAT prep classes start). However, it's not like I can't devote more free time to what might be considered social activities, but I have my reasons. Therefore, I'm not dissatisfied with my social life (or lack of one), but of course I hate how insanely busy I always am.

Don't even get me started on girls.
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Re: Topic 009: Live for today, or plan for tomorrow?

Post by Shuzo Ru »

I am 22 years old, and have been on my own more or less since I was 17. Of course, my priorities have changed over that time.

At this moment in time, my number one above all else is to graduate and find a career. A love life is inconsequential at this time due to the fact that I have been there/done that. It takes too much time and effort - which should be spent on finding a career. After I do, maybe then will I settle down. But until then, it's all about number 1 - me.
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Post by Frost »

I'm working on a degree in Marine Science, and at the same time I'm enrolled in the Texas Maritime Academy. Potentially I could be an oceanographer, or a third mate on a super tanker. As a third mate, I could make 40-50 grand right off the bat and only work 6 months out of the year. However, it certainly wouldn't leave room for any semblance of a marriage...what with me being at sea all the time and all.
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Post by fenroar »

lol
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Post by Joei »

my plan is to play everquest
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Post by j0hn Ayanami »

Vibing_V wrote::l John! You silly boy! I saw you from afar, found out where you lived, and fucking STALKED you. :evil
I don't know whether to be scared or happy.
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Post by Vibing_V »

Well, it wasn't quite that bad. :}

PS: Doom will u marry me?
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Re: Topic 009: Live for today, or plan for tomorrow?

Post by Lavos Spawn »

I'm kind of in the same boat as isildur. I graduated college with a BA in History, I like history, but have never been all that passionate or enthusiastic about it. I'd like to get a job that would let me use my education and brains, but right now even my prospects of menial employment aren't very good. My parrents are supporting me, but my dad's retireing at the end of the year and thetyre really on my ass about getting a job. Problem is I just don't care, I live completly in the moment and have a hard time caring abotu anything else. My social and love liives are non existent, and I care more about my TV shows than about my future. It's not a good place to be for a 23-year-old, I think something is seriously wrong with me and I'm currently seeking psychiatric help.
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Re: Topic 009: Live for today, or plan for tomorrow?

Post by Maigraith »

I'm turning 21 at the end of this year... I'm in my second last year at university, and boy, while I don't hate what I study (Multimedia) I'm not passionate about it anymore, and aren't really interested in getting a career in that industry when I'm done - so much so that I think that for work placement next year I'll just take the university project option that's available to people who won't get real work placements.

Right now, I really don't care about much. I think I'm suffering academic burnout. I enjoy working at my McJob of sorts - working at a cinema means that some of my more expensive social activities are free - it's a happy and fun environment and the pay, for what it is, (unlike what it seems in NA!) is decent.

What to do when I actually do graduate bothers me a lot. I don't know what to do. Parents will probably be disappointed. I actually can't see myself being a career woman. I'd much rather be a stay at home housewife/mum with a husband with a well paying job, at least for some time. I seem to get more pleasure doing domestic things like cooking a nice meal, makign everything clean and sparkly, and pursuing my own individual crafts than moving up some fast paced corporate ladder.

Failing that, winning the lottery might be nice. :(
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Re: Topic 009: Live for today, or plan for tomorrow?

Post by Dave »

I came to college thinking 'buckle down, work hard, graduate' but the second I got here that went to shit. Within the first 2 days that was shot to shit as I met so many people with similar interests AND some semblance of intelligence! So basically I'm procrastinating on a week's worth of discrete math as we speak. I've come to the conclusion that computer science is not somewhere I want to go with computers. As much as I enjoy the benefits of computers, I would hang myself if I had to write code for a living (not to mention the major itself sucks huge balls). I'm considering switching to political science or philosophy since those are the only other things I'm interested in, but there aren't exactly a lot of career opportunities in those fields! Oh well, it's still first quarter, I have some time. Dorm life rocks, classes suck.
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Post by suyashs »

I am a senior who's applying to many colleges. I am in quite a bind though, with my SAT scores being pretty decent but my class rank and GPA being low. I am really not focused on the near term, or even undergrad but rather med school. I really want to get into a top notch med school and that means doing really well in undergrad during the next 4 years. So, I have decided to focus totally on that goal as opposed to anything short term.
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Post by Blue Nocturne »

Career 100%
Social 0%
Love life 0%

I left to go to work at 5 AM, just got back and it's close to 9 PM. Every hour I can't wait to leave, yet there's no other line of work I'd rather be in. I just can't fathom working in a normal job where the objective of the company is just to make more money, which is probably what I would be doing if I had pursued a career related to my major.
As far as love life, even if I had the time there's no way I would jeopardize all my hard-earned savings and investments on someone who would most likely waste it on frivolous things that women often spend money on. My wealth is earmarked for grander, philanthopic things, not so Jane can blow it all on a worthless, shiny stone.
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Post by Renge Ishyo »

Yay! Statistical breakdowns!

College 95%
Social Life 1%
Love Life - 2%
Other 6%

I am a workaholic at the moment as well, but it's more aimed towards my studies than towards a career. I have been studying Physics all summer in anticipation for my classes coming up here in 2 weeks (in fact, I was studying it a second ago, just came to SG for a break). I agree with the working strictly for money thing, all the good things in life are brought to us by people that wanted to do something beyond just earning a paycheck (although the paycheck has to be there in order to survive).

Still, I differ from you with respect to women though...one of my primary motivations for studying so hard and getting through school is a desire to be able to get married after I graduate and start working (the idea is to get a decent enough job to actually support the poor woman who gets stuck with me when that happens). I probably will mind that she, in all liklihood, will blow most of the money I earn on stupid crap, but at the same time what would I do with it? I'll probably be too busy working to buy much of anything, just like now I study so much that I don't buy hardly anything at all ;)
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Post by Vibing_V »

Don't women work where you boys come from? ^_-
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Post by Renge Ishyo »

Define "work" ;)
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Post by Vibing_V »

Well, here and in other threads I see boys complaining about women being money leeches. Do these women not have jobs with which to acquire their own funds for frivolous things? Instead of complaining about marrying a $$-leech people could, oh I dunno, marry women who work hard for their money.
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Post by Renge Ishyo »

Oh please, nobody with enough qualifications to properly title themselves as a "money leach" will be caught dead with someone as financially hopeless as me. The complaint is just a recollection that to us males, women spend a lot of money on stuff we would never buy. An example of this would be the arsenal of conditioners, lotions, and body washes that dominate the bathrooms of any self-respecting 20th century female (bought in such quanties that it would take years to use it all...).
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Post by Vibing_V »

Haha! :p So true. But we wouldn't be as soft and pretty smelling without those! Plus all those necessities (which men would never buy, but they're still essentials) like pads & tampons & pain killers & heating pads & chocolate add up quickly. Like seriously. ;(
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Post by Entr0pi3 »

From where I come (and I think I remember some economical studies saying the same thing, but it might depend on the country and socio-economical class), contrary to popular belief, women are usually more reasonable than men when shopping. Probably because quite often, the woman, in a couple, will do most of the essential, everyday life shopping (food, and washing powder and stuff), and they learn quite fast that all these things adds up to make much money at the end of the month (it's not unusual the woman is also the one managing the common-expenses budget), so they look carefully for sales and such, and compare prices, and so on.
Men will less often have to buy things, but when they do, oh la la! It will all be about getting the biggest, fastest car/computer, and they might pay little attention to how much their new toy will cost. Also, since they lack experience with everyday life shopping, when they (god forbid!) exceptionally have to buy food for dinner or some other lowly task like that, they often buy the first thing that they see wich appeals to them, which will rarely be the cheapest (malls are designed so that impulsive shopping is most profitable for them, not the buyer...)
But this is all gross generalization of course. Actually I've met both guys and girls who were either totally carefree, or extremely careful with money... And I think it depends more on how they were raised, and their personal life experience (ex: living several years as a student while having to work simultaneously in a fast food to pay your rents, or on the contrary having mom and dad pay for everything), than on their gender.
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